Well, how about a blog post? The power is out here and I am on battery backup with no internet connection. This will go through when the power comes back on.
We had an epic storm here today. The power is out almost everywhere. There is a school close by where the kids are trapped because of a downed power line. There are trees and power lines down that are closing off entire neighbourhoods and people can’t get in or out. I however, am safe and sound inside my home with my husband. My daughter and son are safe in their own homes. Since our power is out I had to hook up the old fashioned way and used the old dial phone. I told my kids to NOT go out because the wind gusts are dangerous and there are no street lights. At the moment they both have power but they live close to the hospital. We live close to the hospital too but they are closer.
Life continues to be so very good. As you know I quit my job. $6.00 less an hour. No benefits. No pension. Best of all, NO STRESS! I come home and have not a care in the world. I do not miss my old job even a little bit. I gave that job all my heart, all my love and never once shirked responsibility. When I fell at work and tore my rotator cuff my employer not only did not give a shit but fought me to the bitter end trying to prove I did not injure my shoulder at work. I know I did. I would stake the life on my children on that. But in the end, they won. I lost. And I lost my belief that working hard and doing a good job meant something. The experience changed me in the most fundamental way. I got depressed and lost my desire to work hard and do a good job. I became despondent and stopped caring. I still loved the people I cared for but my heart was no longer caring for the company I work for. So, I quit. My new job is completely meaningless. I go to work and work on a keyboard all day processing claims so people with severe disabilities can get much needed medical equipment. This week a one young woman in particular got a new power chair and she was so happy! The best part is it was fully funded and she did not have to pay a penny. Yay! All day long I see a people being cared for by the system of Universal Health Care. How great is that?
I saw my psychiatrist this week. Guess what? I am no longer his patient because I have been discharged from his care because I am doing so well. It is not just the job. It is the new medication I am on. It took me doing my own research and discovering that I have a unique type of depression called Diurnal Mood Variation that doesn’t respond to SSRI’s but instead responds to SSNRI’s. I have taken SSRI’s for years and never felt really good or happy. I have written so many posts talking about The Black Dog lurking in my neighbourhood or yard or sitting with me on the couch. Right now, he doesn’t even exist anymore. He is just… gone. There are fleeting moments when I remember him. When my psychiatrist told me he was discharging me a very small bit of panic washed over me and was gone me as quickly as it came. It is very frustrating to think if just one doctor over the years had sat and asked me the right questions I would have been saved years and years of desperation and sadness.
I continue to go to Unity and am in love. I love the message. I love the people. And best of all, I am loved. People phone me and email me and send me messages on Facebook. You know, things people do when they are thinking about you? Things people do when they care. I am getting to know so many people I can’t keep up remember their names. One lady, Sharron (Hi Sharron!) reads me blog occasionally. Do you all know that I have never given my blog address to someone I know? Why? Because I never trusted anyone before. I trust the people at Unity. I wish I had a church like this years ago.
Well, it is absolutely pitch black and writing this is giving me a headache. It hurts my eyes so I can’t proofread so I hope everything makes sense. I will post another time about some exciting plans for the new year. I hope you all have a wonderful Christmas and New Year.