It’s been another busy day at Birdie’s Nest. This morning I cleaned the bathroom using a mixture of 1 part dish soap and 1 part cleaning vinegar. Holy moly did it ever get the bathtub clean! Sparkling and squeaky clean. I am now a convert. That means the Srubbing Bubbles will be replaced and now I can say we have no toxic chemicals in our home with the exception of bleach which I use if someone has been sick. I also use a capful when rinsing dishes since our dishwasher is still broken.

And then I made this.  It is quite possibly the most delicious thing I ever made. Tomato and basil soup, both from our garden. As usual, I didn’t follow a recipe. I going to have to try to remember what I did so I can make it again. It’s so good I could bottle it.

There is still a bed to change and some dusting but I am feeling unmotivated today. We received a letter about my daughters diagnosis and I felt my heart fall out for me again. She has this. And no, I don’t want to discuss it.

I feel like I am getting a cold. Or maybe I am just worn out. There is really no reason to be physically worn out but I am. Here’s s tidbit. I don’t know how to deal with my daughter being unwell. It’s fucking scary and horrible. I have no control over what’s happening. She is truly a great kid. She is so kind and awesome and funny. She is in constant pain and yet still works 40 to 50 hours a week. I love her so much. There are no words to tell anyone the depth of my love for her. I will take this fucking disease so she can just have the beautiful life she was meant to have and deserves. When she was a baby she was sick for the first several years of her life. She was a tiny wee thing in the 3rd percentile. I put her in highland dancing to help her with her core strength and muscle tone. She worked so hard at it. Look at her legs. You can tell she is strong. But even dancing is being taken away from her because she is in so much pain.

There I discussed it.

18 thoughts on “

  1. You will deal with it one day at a time. My heart goes out to both of you. She’s obviously a strong girl (strong as in determination, strong will…) and it seems like she hasn’t let this interfere too much with her life, but if she has those days where it is all too much, I can’t imagine a better, more caring mom to have when she needs you!!
    I do know what you mean – we just want to take the pain away from our babies. -Jenn

  2. My heart aches for you and your daughter. I know how it feels when your child is unwell and there is nothing you can do. I’m feel rather deflated from some things happening around me and it just seems like the bad news keeps coming. I’m hoping for some happy times for us all soon.

  3. I have no words other than I am sorry Birdie. Is there anything medically speaking that the Dr.’s can do to arrest this disease or is there any medication to slow it down, or control her symptoms and her pain? Praying for you and your beautiful daughter.

  4. I’m so sorry she has to go through this disease. Such a sweet young woman. I rarely follow recipes too. I find that adding my own love for certain spices and herbs and how I like certain foods makes the recipe my own.

  5. Oh Birdie, I know you heart is aching for your brave daughter, who keeps on keeping on despite her pain. How I wish I could hug you. What I can do is pray, and I will, for you and your beautiful radiant girl.

  6. Dear Birdie, I’m so sorry to learn that she has this difficult disease that will of course change her life as it right now. I’m hoping that she will be able to look for that for which she can be grateful and embrace it. When illness takes over our lives–as it did for me between 2006 and 2017, it is easy to become caught up totally in the ill effects and the pain. During all that time, I kept a gratitude journal and every night before turning off the bed light, I wrote down–in simple spare words–five things or people or events for which I was grateful that day. Sometimes finding five things to write was difficult, but I forced myself to look at the hidden holes of my life and find something–like the sun’s rays on the oriental carpet in the dining room–that was a moment of peace or contentment or beauty or a place apart from the pain. I so hope your daughter–young though she is–will be able to do something like this. It truly helps. Peace.

  7. I’m so very sad for both you and your daughter. It hurts so much when someone you adore is in pain. I know that your love will be a great comfort and solace for your daughter. You will be her angel.

Comments are closed.