I have been canning. Oh, yes I have. Today I finally got some pears done. 9 hours of work and 7 jars to show for it. 7. Okay, that is a lie. It was about 2 1/2 hours of work and 7 jars. Maybe it will be like making kombucha and I will get faster over time but right now I am absolutely exhausted and don’t want to move again until bedtime.
Yesterday I made salsa. Again… so much work for only 5 jars. But the recipe is delicious and it works out so cheap. Unfortunately, I didn’t process the jars properly and will have to empty all the jars out into freezer bags but I am not too upset. Making mistakes is a required part of learning. And that there shows that I have grown in the last 20 years because that would have had me in tears before and I never would have tried again.
Here is a funny Norbert story. When my husband was away I had gone to bed and couldn’t find my eyedrops. I figured they were on the floor and decided to look. At night I take off my pretty comforter because I don’t want it ruined and when I moved it there was a huge spider. I was going to catch and release it but when I came back with the cup it was gone. So I emailed my husband who was 2 hours away. This is the email I sent him.
Actually, I am not really afraid of spiders but I would have liked to have known where it went. Eventually I went to sleep. But the next day I woke up to this!
Norbert, the very good and awesome cat hadn’t fled, he had chased it and killed it. He obviously had fun with it because it was almost as far away from my bedroom as it could get. Yay, Norbert! I gave him so many kisses which made him angry but I was so proud of him.
What else? A few nights back I was looking up Spanx because I wanted to know what all the excitement is about. Dear sweet mother of god. Are you kidding me? How do you get it off to go to the bathroom? I was looking at the pictures and though the model is smiling you can tell what she is really thinking.
“You will have to wait 45 minutes to have sex. I need to cut this Spanx off with scissors and will have to wait for the welts to disappear and for the blood to flow back into my legs. And oh yes, I actually weigh 417 pounds.
That thong underneath will need to be removed with brute force and pliers.
“I haven’t urinated in 22 1/2 hours and I think my kidneys have shut down.”