This morning I awoke to another cool morning. Last night I even gave up wearing my summer nightie and wore my pyjamas instead. As hot and as long as this summer has been I am not quite ready to say goodbye to it yet. The tomatoes are ripening on the vine and we need a couple more weeks of sun. It is such a beautiful and melancholy time of year, the way the light turns into dark. It was this time of year when my mom started to die for real. In the spring she had seen an oncologist who had to tell her there was nothing more to be done. She was young, this doctor. I imagine that she went into the field of cancer care because she wanted to save lives. In the case of my mom she kept looking through the stacks of reports about my mom’s 6 years of treatment, as if she was hoping that she would see something she had missed. I wanted to tell her after that it was okay. I wanted to tell her thank you. Maybe I did, I don’t remember. All I remember is the look on my mom’s face. It plays back in slow motion. Her small hopeless smile. A shrug of her bony shoulders. She looked me straight in the eye. I can’t remember if I cried. I just remember complete and total hopelessness and the earth opening up and falling down into a pit of total numbness. I remember my (step) dad patting her hand. He would do this a lot in the coming months, as she got sicker and sicker. At this point, her cancer overtook all of us. Cancer. It lies. Did you know that? It does. Sometimes it tells you that it’s not so bad and then you start to believe it and maybe we will be one of the lucky families. But then it goes in for the kill. And it does it in such a crafty and insidious way.
I am not sure where that came from. I was going to talk about my day when I started this post.
My husband and I went to the farmers market this morning. We only bought a couple of zucchinis. We had about 500 plums that needed to be used up and while we were driving today we saw a wild apple tree on the side of the road so I made plum and apple chutney. FYI – I have never made chutney before.
I also threw in some wild grapes. Let’s hope it turns out. I’m freezing it, not canning it because I don’t want to kill anyone via botulism. Update. It is delicious. I will make this again for sure.
I also made Zucchini Parmesan Thingies
1 medium zucchini, grated
3/4 cup bread crumbs
1 beaten egg
3/4 cup Parmesan cheese
large handful of cilantro
Preheat over to 400 F. Grease muffin tin. Grate zucchini and squeeze out excess water. Add bread crumbs, Parmesan and cilantro. Mix well with hands. Divide into muffin tin. Bake about 20 minutes or until golden.
That’s before baking and the one below is after. I forgot to take a picture before serving them so some were already gone. They turned out really well considering I didn’t follow the recipe and made it into my own as written above