Today I envy Norbert. He doesn’t work. He can sleep whenever he wants for as long as he wants. Today I would have liked to stay home and just relax. But it wasn’t all bad. One of the people I care for was having a really hard time. She had been in a serious car accident just after losing her husband. It’s getting to be too much. I get that. She’s youngish. She’s grieving. And the pain medications are not working to help relive the pain from the accident. She kept apologizing to me. I finally sat her down and asked her why she was apologizing and what was happening for her today. She’s just… lost. Her whole world is gone. She doesn’t know how to create a new life without her husband. And she feels immense guilt because she believes that allowing herself to grieve is not okay. I asked her what it would take for her to feel her grief is valid. How bad does it have to get? How much more does she have to go through? If a neighbour was dealing with all she had gone through this year, would she think that the neighbour should just be grateful for a roof over her head? She got my point. I encouraged her to just sit with her sadness. It’s okay. It’s okay to be angry and sad just as much as it’s okay to be happy and silly. We actually talked for about 45 minutes and when I left she felt better, she told me so. And I felt better because I connected in a deep and meaningful way with another human. When I left she looked beyond exhausted and she promised me she was going to have a nap.

I wish there was a way to opt-out of all news. Maybe a chip in my brain that turns off noise when anything news worthy comes on. Because Trump continues to be a fucking asshole and his followers will follow him blindly no matter what he does or says. Personally, I don’t give a shit about Tonya Harding. Okay, I did find the story of the runner hiding in port-a-potties funny. He was stripped of his medals and title. Cheating has never made sense to me. What’s the point? At any rate, along with stripping him of his titles he is banned from future events and they are “refunding his registration fee”. I’m sure the shame off all of it was manageable until his registration fee was refunded. That would have been his doing in. One question. Are the port-a-potties in the picture the actual port-a-potties he hid in or are they just stock photos?

I am so tired tonight. No desire to proofread. Good night lovelies.

22 thoughts on “

  1. What you said “just sit with her sadness. It’s okay. It’s okay to be angry and sad just as much as it’s okay to be happy and silly.” I don’t have the words. So beautiful. so true.

  2. Birdie, the woman was drowning in the monumental loss she faces, and you took the time to throw her a lifeline, just by being. Your advice to her was wonderful, the presence of your being, your willingness to witness and acknowledge her pain, her confusion, her panic, the kindness of your soul, were gifts beyond measure. You are doing what you can, when you can, as opportunities present themselves, and the world is a much better place for it.

  3. It is great that you can understand depression and help others. You are a wonderful caregiver and the people you help never know how much you struggle yourself. Your ability to empathize is a gift.

  4. You were an angel to that woman and don’t you forget it.
    I frequently envy my cats, mostly because they act as you describe and do not have even one molecule of guilt about it.

  5. What a wonderful thing you did for that woman. Sometimes you just need someone to listen and explain the obvious. As to Norbert, I always said that if I was to be reincarnated as an animal, I would want to be a housecat. -Jenn

  6. I’m so glad you had time in your job to actually care for a person….because in this day and age healthcare companies don’t want to give you an extra second to actually do your job right. They refuse to hear that “efficiency” is not always the best thing when it comes to caring for humans. I’m glad you were able to help someone who desperately needed it.

    I’d not heard the story about the runner hiding in porta potties…that just had me LMAO! And he’d done it before and gotten away with it!! Wow. I can’t decide if he has a mental disability or is a genius. The shame he’s going to have to live under from here on out for such a stunt, surely that can’t have been worth it. And yeah, returning his registration fees is soooooooo important. Thanks for giving me my morning laugh!

  7. You are truly a good soul. You gave that woman they right idea. As for king Cheeto Tweeto, I don’t even like the sound of his voice. I can’t stand the sight of him. I just watch the news for other things. I turn off the sound on the TV until he’s over with. I believe they use stock photos for online news reports that are written.

  8. That poor woman who is grieving. Thank God you were there for her today. Now rest. Take care of Birdie too.

  9. Hope you manage to rest or get some leave soon. You’re beautiful. Someone I know told someone else they were an “immense human being”. I love this and you are. x

  10. You are a wonder. You’re the bit of light everyone needs when all they can see is the end of the tunnel. Bless you, Birdie.
    I did shut off the news, 100% when I was dealing with my bout of cancer. It was liberating and very calming. I had a pang or two of guilt in the beginning, but it was worth it in the process of healing. Although an old friend called me names I can’t repeat because I expressed some need in her time of troubles (troubles unbeknownst to me). I could have used an angel like you at that moment. But I’m so glad that you were able to help that woman in her deep sadness. That gratifies me and even calms my own pain. I am sooooo grateful for you.

  11. Dear Birdie, I’m so glad you were there for the young woman. That you were able to listen-really listen with your heart–to what she was saying. And that from the deep center of yourself came the words that helped her. That lifted her spirits. How wonderful. Peace.

  12. Yes, take care of yourself too. Your clients are so very lucky, despite their burdens, because they have someone who genuinely cares. I thought of you and your mom today. I lost my mom 5 years ago and today is her birthday.
    Xoxo
    Barbara

    • Barbara, we never stop missing our moms. Even my oldest clients, well into their 90’s or older still talk of the sadness and longing. Be good to yourself today.

  13. Catching up on all my reading, so I know this is late. Still need to comment because I’m just so amazed by you, the way you connected with your patient, seriously you are amazing. You are a gift to those that need you. It’s an honor to call you a friend.

    Second, the news and Trump. It’s so disgusting. I’ve turned all news off a couple months ago and I’m just tuned out. Otherwise I’ll lose my mind. I’ll do the only thing I can do in November and that is vote these assholes that are standing behind him out of office, that should stunt him his remaining two years in office.

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