Not much new on this side of the world. Just going to work and coming home. Today I had soup for lunch that was probably the best soup I ever made but of course I didn’t follow a recipe, I never do, so will never be able to make it again. It did have a lot of tomatoes from our garden. I do make a good soup and love eating it. One of the many keys to my weight loss.

The last two days I have been trying high dose niacin for anxiety and depression. I do notice a difference and woke up the last two mornings feeling fine. No anxiety at all. Is this how regular people feel in the morning? I am going to be a negative Nellie here but I am pessimistic and don’t expect it to last. The number of things I have tried over the years that worked then stopped working are too high to count. Placebo effect or truly working, it doesn’t matter to me. Any day without anxiety is a good day. Before taking it I did some serious research. Of course all the pharmaceutical websites say it’s dangerous to take high doses and the effects have not been proven but then I go on to read personal accounts and websites that encourage more natural cures and it’s a total different story. At any rate, I am desperate. I do know that pharmaceuticals help a little by taking the edge off but the anxiety and depression are always with me, looming under the surface.

Right now we have 3 Steller’s Jays in our yard. We made the mistake of giving them some peanuts that were leftover in our pantry and now they are enraged because the supply has run out. Their angry call is loud and high pitched and annoying. It seems rather entitled if you ask me. Just say thank you and move on, don’t demand more.

Okay. That is all for now I’m going to make more soup. Carrot Ginger this time. I’m not following a recipe.

16 thoughts on “

  1. Anxiety and depression are soul suckers. I so hope that you find something which works for more than the short term, though any day without the incestuous beasts is a good one.

  2. Mr. Moon will often say, “Oh! Make this again!” and I’m like…”Uh, I’ll try.”
    I’ve been waking up feeling not quite as anxious and depressed as usual. I think I’m like you- give me a true emergency and I am cool. BUT, I have noticed that I’ve gone through an entire roll of toilet paper today.
    The body does not lie.

  3. Hey Birdy, did the weed stop working for your anxiety, or can’t you take it for other reasons? I was hoping that would be your ticket, and am sorry to hear it wasn’t. 😦

    I have the same issue with the birds here; I put out a feeder but it was making too much of a mess in my garden, so I took it down. My goodness, the feathered friends now think I’m satan himself. Just be happy you got some free seeds, birdies!

    • It does work for my anxiety, very well actually. The thing is, I can’t take it in the morning because I have to go to work. Mornings are the worst part of the day for me. This is Day 3 for the niacin and so for, no anxiety. Will post about it later. πŸ™‚

    • Probiotics have helped. Low and healthy carbs. High fibre. I track everything I eat. A new mindset that weight loss is not linear and to stop focusing on the idea of “before and after”. You know how you see pictures of women that have lost huge amounts of weight and show before and after pictures? I have learned there is no after. Weight fluctuates. There are hundreds of reasons why people gain weight and thinking that I will never gain weight again is a sure way to fail. Of course I will gain weight again! Ageing. Sickness and disease. Grief. Changes in income. Depression. All reasons that I don’t have a lot of control of that can cause weight gain. Another key was not allowing myself certain foods. If I want ice cream, I eat it but track it and try to keep it within my daily allowance. If not, I make it up the next day. The way of eating that has helped me is Brenda Watson’s, Skinny Gut Diet. It focuses on gut health. Once you can heal your gut and normalize blood sugar the cravings can be controlled. It is not a quick fix but I am having success with it. πŸ™‚

  4. That is a beautiful color for a bird. I love eating veggie soups. It’s the best way to cut calories too. Minestrone is my favorite.

  5. I love soup and never use a recipe either.
    LOL about your Jays. They are greedy.
    I hope your depression and anxiety stay away. What ever works!

  6. I also have a family of jays who sit at my back door demanding peanuts after we stopped leaving them out (grocery shopping has changed now that C is back in school. Everything has to be lunch sized and nothing can have come in contact with peanuts as two kids in his class will go into anaphylactic shock if the even come in contact with oil or other reminants. I’d rather not kill anyone’s kid). In the morning now, we have three furious Jays and two cats who cry like we’ve been starving them for the last six days.

    (Their bowls are full of food, just not the yummy soft pocket bits the little one scarfs down, going bowl to bowl to get as many as she can before my sweet Jack comes to eat. He always lets her eat first. Never mind the bowls of wet food they get every other day. So. Jays are jerks. That’s my conclusion. The cats we chose to bring in to our lives until their final day comes. The Jays, not so much.)

    Hang in there, my friend. Anxiety is a
    Brutal beast. Much love and hugs from me.

  7. I love a good soup. Most of the time I don’t follow a recipe either and each masterpiece is a one-hit wonder πŸ™‚ This is a tough time of year as we get less and less daylight. I hope you find ways to help you deal with the anxiety and depression.

  8. Is it smokey or misty in the background of the photo? It seems like everywhere in the west has smoke. Neat picture.
    Carrot ginger soup is amazing. Soul food. How’d it turn out?

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