Do you ever wake up in the morning so tired that all you want to do is go right back to sleep? That was me today. But I got up and went to work and felt miserable all day. It was hard to keep my eyes open. I’m hoping I did everything correctly. Mostly it is pain that is keeping awake. It is a 6 every single day and at times throughout the day a 7 or 8. Because it’s getting so bad, I called the pain clinic today to see when I can get in. They didn’t receive the referral from my doctor. I started to cry. How much longer do I have to put up with this? It will be 2 years in August.  My MRI is a month away but I don’t know if I can wait that long. Okay, whine session over. 

There was a 16 year old girl that went missing in our community two months ago. Police found her body yesterday. She had been murdered. This is the reason I don’t watch the news but it’s impossible to escape when something like this happens in a small community. It’s a case where there are no real parents in the picture. She was being raised by her grandmother. A lost soul. A hurting soul. And now she is dead. Who would do such a thing to a 16 year old girl?  Life is so baffling at times. 

 I was going to end this negative post with something positive but I don’t have much today. I will be going to bed soon. My way of self-soothing, chocolate will be involved. 

18 thoughts on “

  1. My girl see’s a psychiatrist that is 74 years old. I truly think she is getting dementia. Everything is an ordeal because she can’t remember what she has set in motion. I recently went to the pharmacy to pick up my girls psych meds and no one there had heard from the dr. I texted her and her whole story changed…..she can’t change any meds without seeing my girl. We dont want anything changed….we just need a refill. This has gone on since last week and my girl is 2 weeks without her meds. I felt like crying too Birdie. Every fucking thing is an uphill battle for this girl of mine.

    Wait! Im supposed to be cheering you up!!! LOL Self soothe away! eat that chocolate and savor every bite. Did the MJ help your pain? How is it going with that/ have you taken it again since the other day?

    • Your poor daughter. That is absolutely cruel. The opposite of “do no harm”. Yes, it definitely helps. But I can’t take it during the day. It is also helping with anxiety. A lot. It’s like it resets my anxiety back to zero. And when I’m not anxious the depression lightens. Annette, I’m not much of a praying woman but I will pray for your girl. I hope she gets her much needed medication soon. 💕

  2. Sometimes I just have to look away from the world.

    Perhaps a warm chocolate compress on your shoulder? xo

  3. I am so sorry you are in so much pain Birdie. You are a trooper to go to work and take care of others when you feel so bad yourself. I’m sure focusing on others helps you thru it as much as chocolate does and those you help are certainly grateful. You are such an extra special person. I’m glad I know you.

    • It would have been so easy to call in sick today but I know my Friday clients are expecting me. And at the end of the day, I am in the same amount of pain no matter where I am.

  4. Birdie, I have had days where I don’t want to get out of bed and just want to sleep. Sending you warm hugs and much love.

  5. Some of the best things in life are chocolate. Apply that soothing balm and repeat. As many times as necessary.
    I am so very sorry for that young life stolen too early. And sad and angry for Annette and her girl.
    I too cannot watch the news. And sadly I do know what you mean about it hurting anyway and anywhere so you might as well go to work.

  6. Oh, Birdie. Chronic pain is so difficult. I hope you get relief soon.
    Just awful about the missing teen. Awful.

  7. Boy, I hope you get some definitive news from the MRI and they say, “Oh, yes, here’s the problem! ” and you have quick and easy surgery and your pain goes away. In the meantime, take it one day at a time my dear. Is Spring in full force out there in B.C. land? -Jenn

  8. Pain is debilitating in every way. You have GOT to get some relief. You are having to be too strong when I am certain there is something that can be done.

  9. Constant pain must be very difficult to cope with. I had a bad hip a few weeks ago and sometimes have pain in my shoulder and arm but both are currently ok which I am very grateful for. To know there is no or little relief would be so awful. I really do hope you get some relief Birdie.
    So sad for the young girl and her family.

  10. Chocolate and wine always makes me feel better about the news. I take three Hershey’s Kisses with a full glass of white wine. By the end of the half-hour newscast I’m feeling pretty plastered. I sometimes do refills if needed when trump is mentioned.

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