Yesterday we had a provincial election here and we are no closer to knowing who won that we did when the election started. It is that close. They are doing recounts and checking the absentee ballots and we won’t know for a couple of weeks who our Premier is. I’m just hoping for change. Change of the most vulnerable. Change for the sick. Change for the elderly and for all of those who have no voice. The current government does none of this.
Because of the election I didn’t go to bed until very late and then the damned birds woke me up at 4:30. See? What a cranky woman I am. They start at 4:30 and are very loud. I yell out the window for them to shut their beaks but it only eggs them on. Eggs. Get it? See what I did there? Okay. I don’t yell out the window but I do close it and try to go back to sleep. This morning it was to no avail. Now I am so tired.
This afternoon I went to see Rebecca. Rebecca is my doctor and I love her. She doesn’t want to be called Dr. She wants to be called Rebecca. Isn’t that cool? I feel so at ease with her. I spent way more than my allotted to me. A first for me. Because I’m always hyper aware of taking too much time and infringing on someone else’s time. Not today. We talked about my shoulder. My MRI is in June. She prescribed some pain medication because I can’t take it anymore. The pain at times is so bad that it takes my breath away. Pain shoots through my arm and shoulder that is nothing I have ever felt before. All I can do is just wait for it to pass. The rest of the time it is a dull ache that never goes away. It’s never less than a 6 on the pain scale. I’m hoping the pain medication will at least help me sleep comfortably. At this point I am not really using my right arm. Rebecca also referred me to a pain clinic. We also talked about my antidepressants and changed things around a bit. And we talked about medicinal cannabis, which is legal where I live, for anxiety. She thinks it will be a great fit for me. I’m hesitant because of all the stigma attached. It’s fine for everyone else because I know it works but for me I feel like I’m just not trying hard enough. I don’t know. I don’t know what to do. I just know that the anxiety I am dealing with is no longer under control and it is controlling me and my life. God knows, I have tried everything.
This afternoon my husband and I went to the nursery and picked out flowers for the garden and then we went out for a late lunch/early dinner which means we don’t have to cook tonight. Yay.