A Re-Post

I am reposting a post from my old blog. Im doing not bad. Not great. Woke up at 4:17 and didn’t fall back to sleep so I’m pretty tired. So no new post. Here is a repost from 2013. 

My husband and I went for a drive and stopped at a thrift store. This is what we saw. 

A Creepy Fucking Doll Wrapped in a Plastic Bag.  

The doll was at a thrift store and two ladies were looking at it saying that they felt bad for it and all it needed was a little love. First of all, it has no legs and it needs more than a little love. Second of all, that plastic bag is the only thing keeping the entire planet from Armageddon. 

I also saw this picture and thought it was so funny I almost peed my pants. Which would have been a perfect case of irony. Seriously, though. My inability to hold my pee is not getting better after my surgery. It is getting worse and I am probably going to need another surgery. It pisses me off. When I have to go it comes on really sudden and I have to sit like a deer in the headlights and I can’t move (or breathe) until the urge passes. Kegals do fuck all. I then have about 12 seconds to find a bathroom. There are no second chances with this bitch from nature. It is do or die. Go pee in a toilet or I will force you piss where you stand. I am however thinking of renaming my blog.

 “Please Excuse the Smell of Urine”
Or not. But come on already. I have posted more than my fair share of posts about peeing myself. 
Just now our weird neighbours just walked by. When God told us to love our neighbours he probably didn’t mean these people. They bought the house a year ago and we are not sure if they live in the house or not. This is the same neighbor that tapped (you have to read the part about tapping for this to make sense) on old bricks for the last year. Every. Single. Day. Now he is ripping all the windows out of the house and has covered them up with leftover roofing tiles. It is a serious clusterfuck. (see definition # 2 – 5) I want to yell out, “WHY?” but that would make me the weird neighbour and I am doing my damnedest to keep that a secret. 
OK, that is all. I need to go and pee. 

8 thoughts on “A Re-Post

  1. My MIL also had surgery a couple years ago to help with her urinary incontinence…she said it did NOTHING to fix her problems. I don’t understand why these surgeries don’t work? I wonder what the overall fail rate is? She is miserable and it’s a serious quality of life issue. My sympathies, birdie…the shit we women have to put up with for propagating the species!

    On a funny side note, April the Giraffe just gave birth to a son yesterday. They let Oliver (the baby’s daddy) visit April while the vet checked out the calf in a different pen. What did Oliver want to do? Why he wanted to have sex with April, on the same damn day she GAVE BIRTH to his calf. Have mercy, can’t females ever get a break?

    • The actual surgery didn’t help but when I was getting my hysterectomy I told my gynecologist just before the surgery that I was having problems. He said he would take a look. He must hack done something when he was up there because it’s not as bad now. I still have to wear a pad but it’s manageable now. I am pretty certain I will be wearing a diaper one day. Oh, how exciting!

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