I woke up early this morning sad and stressed. I wrote a post yesterday that turned ugly in the comments. The comments were stinging and sarcastic. (Why does sarcasm always hurt the most?) A comment from a person that hasn’t really checked in at my blog for a long time but someone that I care about. I have been called many awful things in my life but I have never been accused of hate. It is one of those times where I second guess everything that I think I am. I am hurt and confused and the whole situation makes me want to say, “Fuck blogging”. Maybe I am just tired. I don’t know.
I had made an appointment yesterday to have my hair coloured and was going to cancel because of my mood but my stylist set that time aside for me and she barely makes enough as it is. I got about 4 inches of the length taken off so now if I have a cute curly bob. And I went all risqué and got a vivid purple colour at the back underneath. It looks cool. I will show a picture if I am feeling better tomorrow.
The news continues to break my heart and curl dark tentacles around my brain. I ache for you all that are about to have your lives changed drastically. I am sorry beyond words if I have come across as hateful. I am crying writing this because you are all my people. You are my support system and the ones who have got me through some of the darkest times of my life. I don’t hate Americans. Writing about it only makes me feel like I am digging myself deeper. I do want to apologize. Fuck. Sometimes words are just brutal.
Well, that is about all right now. Norbert decided to wake me up about 1000 times last night. I was supposed to do housework today but ended up doing absolutely nothing. Maybe tomorrow will look brighter. Rigth now. Just sadness. I hope this post makes sense. I am too tired to proofread.