I have been back at work for 3 days and already I am so tired. Part of it is getting back to a normal sleep/wake cycle. I was staying up late and sleeping in for my two weeks off and I only have myself to blame. The other part is just the work itself. I went into several different homes today. One is in such bad shape it needs to be bulldozed to the ground. The floor around the tub area is soft and rotting. When I am showering the client I am seriously nervous that the whole thing is going to cave in. Another home I went into is so filthy and cluttered it has cigarette beetles. Yeah. I have never heard of them either. That same home had nothing to feed the client except a peanut butter sandwich and a banana from the food bank. The thing is, I know I am bringing something positive to what I do. I just wish I could find a way to not care so much. There were several years when I worked in a job where I worked 9 – 5 in sales. In that job I did a lot of filing and billing 3rd party insurance companies. I liked the job but I wasn’t passionate about it. At the end of the day anyone could have done my job. There was no caring. It was just doing what needed to be done. I have to be in a job where I care of people.
Well, my iPad has locked me out because I have had to memorize one to many passwords. My brain had a meltdown and so now I have to try to set it to factory settings. Such a First World Problem but these First World Problems are going to be the end of me. It is exhausting trying to keep up. The other issue right now is my car window is fogging up and I think that has something to do with the radiator. I need a new car but my job doesn’t pay enough for a new car. My car is 20 years old and won’t last forever. I have started saving for a new car but it will be a few years before I have enough. When I say new, I mean new to me.
Tonight I am going to try something new. I have set an alarm to remind me to go to bed. It seems every night around 7:00 Night Birdie enters me and I am happy and wide awake and feeling like doing weird shit like making Kombucha or looking up diseases I think I might have on the Internet. The problem is Morning Birdie pays the price. I have been doing this for 45 years, people. It isn’t likely anything is going to change but I have to try. Poor Morning Birdie. She does try.
Well, the damn news is on and that means it’s time for me to put on my headphones. My husband loves the news. I do not. This is what is first song on my playlist. I love this song. Love it! What do you think?