My Girl is Heartbroken

My daughter has had her first heartbreak. Her boyfriend decided yesterday that he is moving across the country with his mom. His mom. He is almost 19. Ah, I could go on about the reasons why I think this is ridiculous but all I can think of my girl curled up on her bed sobbing. What can you say? Nothing. Really,  nothing. Heartbreak. It is part of this awful and beautiful life. I just pushed her hair back out of her tearstained face and told her that it was going to hurt for awhile. A long while. And that she would be okay. And most of all that I loved her. God, nobody told you before you had kids that the hardest part was going to be watching them fall.

Tomorrow. September 27th. My least favourite day of the year. My mom died 5 years ago. How can that be? How can it be that I have lived 5 years without my most amazing and supportive mom?  I never thought I would get to a time when it doesn’t ache to the deepest part of my soul. But I have got there. I still miss her. So much. More than ever, actually. I still have days when I cry for her. Days when it seems like she just died and I want her. But I have such lovely souls around me now. All of you! Friends and family members. I even have female clients that lift me up and impart their lifetime of wisdom on me. Honestly, I feel like the luckiest woman in the world. My mom was my mom! I am loved and I love. What more is there? What, indeed?

Life goes on.  Life, full of pain and sorrow. Life of beauty and joy. And I have laundry to do.

Namaste, my friends.

20 thoughts on “My Girl is Heartbroken

  1. I am sorry about your mom and your sweet daughter. The boy might move back from missing her. Love is all there is.

  2. Oh my….I can feel the pain all the way over here…
    First love….first broken heart….hugs to her💞
    You have come a long way Barbara…good for you.
    My mom has been 17 years…seems like yesterday….**sigh**

    Linda :o)

  3. Nineteen for a boy is different than most girls…Perhaps he still needs his mother or is afraid not to have her close by…I’m sorry for your daughter’s broken heart, too. I remember the photo of your mother dancing to music…Put her favorite music on and give it a go. I bet you’ll end up smiling…

  4. I lost my mother in 1983 at the age of 67, then my father in 1984 at the age of 64. I still miss them. Part of life, as you said, Birdie. And I think you gave your heartbroken daughter very sound words of wisdom. Love and hugs to you.

  5. Having your heart broken at any age is a terrible pain, but that first one, it’s doubly hard because you’ve never felt pain like that before. My heart goes out to your dear daughter. But she has you, Birdie, and you’re the mother to her that your mother was to you. But still, it’s very hard.
    Please tell her I’m thinking of her and wish the best.

    PS: Today is the two year anniversary of my mothers passing.

  6. Oh my, the first broken heart — it’s the worst one. But she will come out of it stronger and wiser, as we all do. You gave her excellent advice and I know you’ll always be a tremendous support to her, just like your Mom always was for you. Hugs to everyone today and tomorrow.

  7. We never, ever forget that first loss of love. That first heartbreak. But the good news is that eventually, when we remember, we wonder why it mattered so much. But don’t even try telling someone going through it the truth of that! Because it hurts real and it hurts bad.
    As to losing your mother- oh, Birdie. I remember. She must have just been the most wonderful mother. I’m still sorry for your loss.

  8. I’m so sorry for your daughter. I’ve been there, done that…a few times. Damn but it never gets easier. When one of my daughters is in pain, it’s like a knife goes through my very soul. But I let them feel and grow. You’re a great mom and a great support to her. In time she will feel better. For now, it will hurt. Get out the ice cream and a BIG spoon!

  9. Now it has come full circle. Your mother was supportive and special to you, and you can be that same wonderful mom to your daughter when she needs you. Hope she manages to get through this and yes, it is hardest when we see our children hurting, whether it is physical or emotional. -Jenn

  10. Your post shows the circle of motherhood, I have no doubt that you are just as an amazing mom to your daughter as your mom was to you. I wish I could reach through the computer and give you a great big hug today. I’m thinking of you and sending warm thoughts your way. Love you.

      • Oh, exactly what you wrote. My son’s first heartbreak broke my heart. My daughter was late to the party and still full flush in her first love. I’m hoping they marry, because I can’t take it again, watching my child’s heartaches.

        I lost my Dad in 08, and it just won’t get easier to miss him in the world, to not think so often how nice it would be to talk with him. Is it odd that I have his threadbare plaid shirt hanging in my closet, that I talk to it often, sometimes, just hi, Dad, sometimes more. I keep one of his plaid handkerchiefs in the pocket, and one in my purse, one by my bed, his polished rocks scattered all over, often in my pocket, certainly in that closet shirt pocket. I try so hard not to miss him, but he’s definitely not here, so I must.

        I miss him the most about the kids, he’d have never guessed how they turned out, so interesting and unique and exotic and funny. I am the most comforted in his loss through them though, as they have his eyes and some of his DNA and his love of life so he can’t be truly gone. But time marches on and years go by. Life is strange.

        Thanks for the thoughts you shared here, hopes for your daughter’s heart to heal, for her to see what was meant to be will be, or to find someone who will stay for her in the future. 19 is so young, isn’t it? Hopes missing your mom softens too.

        And yes, I have laundry too!

  11. sorry for your mom mine has left this world on the same year.may she rest in peace .
    life has it’s all colors and we have to encounter each of it by the time .time is a great healer ,hope her boyfriend will be back if he is as serious as you doll otherwise everything happens for the best dear trust me

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