My daughter has had her first heartbreak. Her boyfriend decided yesterday that he is moving across the country with his mom. His mom. He is almost 19. Ah, I could go on about the reasons why I think this is ridiculous but all I can think of my girl curled up on her bed sobbing. What can you say? Nothing. Really, nothing. Heartbreak. It is part of this awful and beautiful life. I just pushed her hair back out of her tearstained face and told her that it was going to hurt for awhile. A long while. And that she would be okay. And most of all that I loved her. God, nobody told you before you had kids that the hardest part was going to be watching them fall.
Tomorrow. September 27th. My least favourite day of the year. My mom died 5 years ago. How can that be? How can it be that I have lived 5 years without my most amazing and supportive mom? I never thought I would get to a time when it doesn’t ache to the deepest part of my soul. But I have got there. I still miss her. So much. More than ever, actually. I still have days when I cry for her. Days when it seems like she just died and I want her. But I have such lovely souls around me now. All of you! Friends and family members. I even have female clients that lift me up and impart their lifetime of wisdom on me. Honestly, I feel like the luckiest woman in the world. My mom was my mom! I am loved and I love. What more is there? What, indeed?
Life goes on. Life, full of pain and sorrow. Life of beauty and joy. And I have laundry to do.
Namaste, my friends.