Sitting

It feels like this is the first time I sat in the last 2 weeks but that isn’t quite true because I marathon watched part of Wentworth on Netflix. But I am sitting now. This morning I cut Norbert’s razors. He hates when I do it because all his plans for my death start and end with his claws. I also brushed him which angered him further. He is “not speaking” (his words) with me now. My daughter was given a lily by her dance teacher and I planted that this morning as well as some more Lupine seeds.  And I did laundry and hung it on the line. Always with the laundry! I still have to wash two windows.

outsidebed

My Summer Bed

My daughter has gone camping with her boyfriend and his family so the house is quiet. It brings memories of the days when the house was never quiet. My husband is making a salad, most of which is made from produce from our garden. I am of course, blogging. It is a beautiful day here. Perfect weather at 20 C. (68 F.) with a breeze. It is a good day to set up my summer outside bed but I doubt I will get to that today.

 

 

 

Since I don’t have a lot to say I will leave you with a post from my very first blog. I wrote this in June 2004 when blogging was still relatively new.

 

I have always been an emotional person. Yes, I cried during the AT&T commercials but I think maybe I am too emotional. Yesterday when I went to pick up the kids from school I saw all the empty cubbies in my daughter’s kindergarten class and I started crying. This is it. No more little girl who is with me more often than not. After the summer a new woman will have her everyday. Her teacher. Gone are the days of picnics in the middle of the living room while her brother is at school. Gone are the “girlfriend” activities we do. This may sound ridiculous but my kids are my best friends. I feel like my best friend has decided to go be a part of a different crowd now. She has grown up so fast and I feel like I don’t remember much of it. Sometimes I have dreams that one day I wake up and my kids are grown and I didn’t get to see any of it. I don’t know…I really can’t explain this heaviness in my heart. Maybe the parents reading my blog can understand. It just happens way too fast doesn’t it?

That said I know my kids still need me. At night before bed my daughter still hugs my neck and says she is never going to let go. My son still doesn’t mind holding my hand in the schoolyard. They still want to sleep with me and would still rather hang out with me than with their friends.

I guess it comes down to the love I have for them. I thought I knew what love was and then I had my children. My capacity to love grew beyond measure.

I suppose crying when I see the empty cubbies is not a bad thing. This love I feel is so precious. It, along with my children is a gift that I never want to lose. So now I will go lie down with my daughter. I will watch her sleep before I have to wake her on this last day of an era.

11 thoughts on “Sitting

  1. Aw you and Norbert … sounds like me and one of my cats … I have to clip their claws this weekend. One cat is easy the other is like a sneaky rattlesnake! And coming their fur is the same way! I’m sure Norbert will come around soon.

    And you sound like an awesome mom. I wish I could have had such a warm relationship with my mother. The best I can do is appreciate what she did while I was growing up and live in amazement in how she put up with my father.

    Have a nice weekend. Get some rest and take care of yourself! ❤

  2. It goes so fast, doesn’t it? And now, after a lifetime of taking care of your babies, it’s time to start paying more attention to what you need. And I’ve been thinking about this a lot- those of us who suffer most from “feelings” also get to glory most in feelings.
    It’s going to be okay, Birdie. And those children are always going to need you. Always.

  3. That post from 2004 was so poignant. I understand it so well and all the changes that were still in your future. Now she is grown and still lovely, and we have no choice but to love them and let them fly. You’ve given her strong wings, mama.

  4. I’m a very emotional person too, Birdie, for various reasons. I think our emotions are simply beautiful (yours, mine, Mary’s ..etc. etc), contrary to those people I could smack who say “you feel too much!” – who see no beauty in them. I think they are the product of something that we should be very proud of, and that is that we.. …see. It is the seeing, of what’s under the surface, staring us in the face, hidden deep within every moment and every experience, that most people don’t notice because they can’t …see, that brings the gift of emotion.
    I think we are graced by this gift. It’s a prism, so many colors, so many feelings.
    I heard someone say once that “color is the suffering of light” and we all know, Light is divine.
    We pay a price for this gift, but I wouldn’t have it any other way.

    Your colors, Birdie, are simply beautiful and you wear them well xx

  5. I must have gotten signed out of wordpress accitentally, Birdie. ? But that was me (anonymous), although you might have known that already 🙂

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