It feels like this is the first time I sat in the last 2 weeks but that isn’t quite true because I marathon watched part of Wentworth on Netflix. But I am sitting now. This morning I cut Norbert’s razors. He hates when I do it because all his plans for my death start and end with his claws. I also brushed him which angered him further. He is “not speaking” (his words) with me now. My daughter was given a lily by her dance teacher and I planted that this morning as well as some more Lupine seeds. And I did laundry and hung it on the line. Always with the laundry! I still have to wash two windows.
My daughter has gone camping with her boyfriend and his family so the house is quiet. It brings memories of the days when the house was never quiet. My husband is making a salad, most of which is made from produce from our garden. I am of course, blogging. It is a beautiful day here. Perfect weather at 20 C. (68 F.) with a breeze. It is a good day to set up my summer outside bed but I doubt I will get to that today.
Since I don’t have a lot to say I will leave you with a post from my very first blog. I wrote this in June 2004 when blogging was still relatively new.
I have always been an emotional person. Yes, I cried during the AT&T commercials but I think maybe I am too emotional. Yesterday when I went to pick up the kids from school I saw all the empty cubbies in my daughter’s kindergarten class and I started crying. This is it. No more little girl who is with me more often than not. After the summer a new woman will have her everyday. Her teacher. Gone are the days of picnics in the middle of the living room while her brother is at school. Gone are the “girlfriend” activities we do. This may sound ridiculous but my kids are my best friends. I feel like my best friend has decided to go be a part of a different crowd now. She has grown up so fast and I feel like I don’t remember much of it. Sometimes I have dreams that one day I wake up and my kids are grown and I didn’t get to see any of it. I don’t know…I really can’t explain this heaviness in my heart. Maybe the parents reading my blog can understand. It just happens way too fast doesn’t it?
That said I know my kids still need me. At night before bed my daughter still hugs my neck and says she is never going to let go. My son still doesn’t mind holding my hand in the schoolyard. They still want to sleep with me and would still rather hang out with me than with their friends.
I guess it comes down to the love I have for them. I thought I knew what love was and then I had my children. My capacity to love grew beyond measure.
I suppose crying when I see the empty cubbies is not a bad thing. This love I feel is so precious. It, along with my children is a gift that I never want to lose. So now I will go lie down with my daughter. I will watch her sleep before I have to wake her on this last day of an era.