It is a blue day here at Birdie’s house. That Black Dog is a nasty fuck isn’t he? There has been endless tears today. I am trying so hard to live with it. Currently I am trying to wean off my antidepressants because I really don’t think they do a whole lot of good. My doctor is supporting me in this decision and I am weaning off very, very slowly. If I have to go back on them I will but I have been on them for more years that I can remember so I want to try to go off and see what happens. I am not expecting to not be depressed, I am just seeing how I am without them.
Though it has been a day off sadness I did have some nice things happen. When I was at the hospital getting my mammogram and breast ultrasound I saw a friend that works there and my ex-brother-in-law. He gave me the biggest hug. He and his wife are devout born-again Christians. If more Christians were like them I would go to church. They are truly beautiful people.
And this. This song touches the deepest part of my soul and makes me weep with the beauty of it all. This life. The sadness, the unspeakable joy. The darkness, the light. The anger, the love. The disappointments and unexpected beauty.
Listen with headphones.