I am sitting here crying like the little girl I was in grade 4. I had to move back to a grade 5 level in math and I still don’t understand it. I just feel stupid and overwhelmed. If I can’t figure this out I will not be able to become a nurse. If I can’t become a nurse I will not be able to work in palliative care. For the last several years I felt I was called to work in palliative care. Am I wrong? Maybe I am. This math is stuff a 10 year old knows how to do. How I am ever going to get through grade 11 algebra if I can’t get through grade 5 math. The smart thing to do would be just to throw in the fucking towel now. There is no point in doing any of this, the Biology and English. Right now I hate my grade 4 teacher for knocking me so hard on the head for not understanding, asking if I had rocks in my head. Hurt and shame. And now it is hanging on me. Like shame does, it makes you feel everything about you is wrong. Everything.