I am just glad that this particular day is over. Yesterday I mentioned that my step-daughter was staying with us because last week she decided out of the blue that she was moving to Calgary. My intuition, that is not often wrong, told me that she got kicked off welfare in BC so she decided to move to Alberta. I didn’t mention that I was also very sure a man was involved. Why? I don’t know. I just felt it. Today my intuition was backed up by some evidence. Remember last night I said that she was in the bathroom for over 2 hours? Well she was in the bathroom again this morning for 2 1/2 hours. She was supposed to be getting ready to catch a plane. Her dad, my husband, was having a fit because he knew if she didn’t hurry she was going to miss her plane. Guess what? She did. She missed her fucking flight. And now I am more than pissed at my husband because not only had he paid for the first flight that she missed but he was left to pay for the second flight as well. I don’t know who I am more angry at. Her, for this sense of entitlement that the plane would wait for her (she apparently had a hissy fit at the airport) or my husband for bailing her out again and enabling her again. She is 28 years old for fuck’s sake! Anyway, the reason I think she is meeting a man in Calgary is because she spent 2 1/2 hours getting ready doing her hair and makeup to catch a plane. She said she was being picked up by a woman’s shelter in Calgary. I call bullshit. You don’t spend the night colouring your hair (I found out later that is what she was doing) and putting on press on nails and dressing in a mini skirt to meet someone from a woman’s shelter. Anyway, like I said last night I can’t do anything about it.
I feel melancholy tonight. I am worried about this breast biopsy tomorrow. Today I stayed home from work because I am so anxious. It isn’t just the biopsy or my step daughter. It is just a sense of doom. Even the weather seems to have picked up on my mood. It has gone from warm and sunny to cool and dark. Even that asshole starlings have quieted down for a bit. I hate this feeling. This feeling that something very bad is going to happen. Is it normal to be worried that this biopsy is going to become a diagnosis of the dreaded C word. Do other people deal with this kind of thing differently?