I Won’t Have to Sell My Car

Asshole

Spider inside my car. You can’t see his evil satany red back.

After the spider incident from yesterday I was very uneasy getting into my car this morning because even though I had my windows rolled down so he could leave I could just feel his spider eyes watching me. Sure enough I discovered him on the window when I was about halfway through my morning. Of course I freaked. I tried to steer him towards the window with my pen but I heard a faint, “Fuck you, bitch” and he flung himself down to the floor. But alas, I had a phone book down there and that is where he landed so I just picked it up and flicked him out the window. But the asshole had other plans! I am not kidding when I say he knew what I was up to because he hurled himself back into my window and landed between the seats!  Fuck. Obviously I couldn’t find him.  So off I drove to my next client and as I parked my car I noticed he was now on the passenger seat window.  I could have just squashed him and at this point,  he had it coming. Instead I just slowly rolled the window down after making an agreement that he would not jump on my arm. Anyway, he crawled up and over the window and they I closed it real fast. So now my car is spider-free!

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Safely outside of my car!

15 thoughts on “I Won’t Have to Sell My Car

  1. Well done to you! – spiders freak me out!.. in a confined space with one?.. that spider would have to take over the driving – i’d be gone 🙂

  2. I think spiders have some significance as far as animal symbolism goes, but I don’t know what it is. I love that you didn’t kill him or her.

  3. OMG, that is a huge f’ing spider! If I saw that thing in my car I would have freaked too. Once I almost drove over an embankment when a wasp flew in my car…it was not pretty and I was screaming like a three year old. I like that you were smart enough to leave a window down for him, you sweet woman, you.

  4. I read your previous post and now this about the spider… glad that he is out and free and that you can breathe again… must tell you that reading your words as well as the swear words made me laugh… sorry! I was just imagining you and the spider in a heated argument about who will be leaving the other in peace. As for the other post about dinner and who should make it… would it be possible to make a schedule with you, your husband and kids and take turns sharing this burden? another way would be to ask them for help in the kitchen while you are making dinner… I sometimes ask my kids (9 and 6) to help me chop and cook and that is especially when i am exhausted… it really does help to see others working along side you… so even though you are still making dinner by putting all the ingredients together, they still had a hand in chopping, stirring or whatever. Just a thought… i feel with you and I think your family should feel with you too.

  5. LOL! That’s one of those stupid jumping spiders too, or at least it looks like one of those to me. Glad he’s had his day and now has to forage in the wild like the rest of the spiders. He’d have starved to death in your car anyway so he should be grateful.
    At least he wasn’t a black widow spider that crawled out of your sleeve while you put your sweater on like happened to me. Those black widows are huge and they move so fast it’s scary. I do not let those spiders live but all the rest I try to fling outside if they cooperate.

  6. Ahh omg that thing is terrifying!!!! You are braver than I am around spiders. Once, I was In a friend’s car in the passenger seat and a huge bug ran over the sun visor. I was out of my seatbelt and in the back seat in one fluid motion while my friend was driving.

    Lol. You are a spider whisperer now. I am impressed.

  7. H O L Y C O W. I’m hyperventilating a bit jut lookin’ at that guy. That’s not a spider it’s a space station!

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