Is my grumpiness PMS? Is it from my neck that is always, always sore? The pain spreads down my arms and into my hands and makes me so tired. Or is it that I have come home from work the last three days and nothing has been done? I have to fucking make dinner and that pisses me off. My husband was out all day and tired because of the heat. My daughter has her period and slept most of the day. Is my grumpiness because someone I know lives on welfare said she “get’s paid” this week? Argh! You don’t “get paid” when you are on welfare. Getting paid is something that happens when you have a fucking job. Maybe I am grumpy because I can’t take one more day of work. I am so tired. I am on holidays starting Tuesday but after the week I am back at it. Home Support never lets up. And most of the time I love it and I love having a job where I have to give of myself. Just not lately. Lately I feel like I am already living in a physical and spiritual drought. It is so hard to recharge. Maybe it was crazy of me to take on part time schooling but I do see it as a way out of my current job that is not going to get better on my physical body.
OK, I have to go.. The neighbour just dropped by and I am not in the mood for company. I feel like crying.