Not a Bad Day

It wasn’t a bad day all things considered. I woke up too early for my day off and just decided to get up. My hair was getting into its usual craziness so I went and got it cut and had my eyebrows done at the same time. In the afternoon I did a bit of weeding in the yard. Norbert went on his cat leash and proceeded to get himself tangled around the only tree that he could reach. Oh, I forgot to mention that our neighbour died. He was diagnosed with cancer 11 months ago. My heart aches for his wife.

My emotions are all over the place today. For reasons that I just don’t have the energy to get into I am feeling very sad and overwhelmed. I feel like I am hanging onto this thread that will tell me just what is wrong with me. The saliva hormone test will come back any day now and my biggest fear is the pharmacist saying, “There is nothing wrong with you”. That will be the most horrible thing to hear because then I know there is something wrong with me, the way my brain is. There will be no hope in that.

7 thoughts on “Not a Bad Day

  1. If the test comes back negative then you just keep on searching for a reason you feel so bad and the solution to help you feel more peace. {{{{HUGS}}} Here’s to happier days!

  2. Sometimes, I wonder if suffering is just the nature of some people’s lives, and we must come to accept this. Take me for example: I’ll grab whatever good I can, but the nature of my situation is that I’m going to suffer and there is no cure for it. I’m trying to stop fighting it so much and just go with the flow more.

    You know, I actually meant this comment to be uplifting and not depressing, but I’m not sure it’s coming out right. I’m trying to say (not very well) is that….well shit, everything I can think of sounds more depressing. So I’ll leave you with a line of poetry I once heard: “there is heat in freezing, be a testament.” It’s the last line in this video:

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