Are You all Sick of Hearing it?

I know I am sick of writing about it. This depression. I guess if you didn’t want to hear about it you would not be at a blog called “Ditching the Black Dog”. This is a memoir of depressive states and non-depressive states. I wish my brain could turn off. Or I wish I could turn off the sadness in the world. Terrorists and bus accidents and poverty and racism (I got this very unfunny comic off one of my Quaker groups site.)

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and sickness and oh, it is all just too much. I was surfing the net and I came across a quote by Scott Baio saying something along the lines of his taxes paying to feed, house and provide medical care for a  few lazy non-working people at his expense. Excuse me, Mr. Baio but not everyone has cruised through life on good looks and mediocre acting skills. Anyway…

I am so tired. I was off for 3 days for my step-grandmother’s funeral so it worked out to 11 days all together. (I work 3-12 hour shifts then I am off for 4.) During that time though feeling incredible stress and dodging the black dog I felt my sleep/wake cycle go the way it is supposed to. Now I am back to nights and I am just so fucking tired. 

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So, there is a crummy negative post. Right now I am having a hot flash and need to go and drink water. 

Addendum – I just opened the window and ahhhh, blessed cool night air! 

 

16 thoughts on “Are You all Sick of Hearing it?

  1. what I’m sick of is, Dealing with it.. I’m sick of it taking away my ~ what used to be boundless energy.. taking away- my joy.taking away my zest for life and all that , that includes.I am just plain SICK of it. I’m sick of the pills that are supposed to help me and while they do in certain ways- they take away my creatiivity, my ability to succeed and overcome whatever obstacle,
    Keep talking~! its your form of release.. I’m seriously thinking of getting a punching bag:) that would at least exhaust me in a positive way.

  2. Do you think your step-grandmother’s death brought back all the other deaths? This can happen. I don’t know. There is usually not a key factor, just a drifting down. Keep putting one foot in front of the other. I hate that you have to work night shifts. I know that contributes.

  3. Even though I sometimes think I’m more of a ‘night owl’ I don’t know about actually having to work regular shifts like that.
    Hot flashes… bleh! Luckily, I am only having them on occasion in the early hours of the morning… like 4 – 6am. I’ve heard from girlfriends who have them much more often that they are just awful.

    Wishing you a good weekend and lots of cool breezes coming in your windows!!

  4. Its your blog. You can talk about whatever you want to. I for one am glad you write about it. Then I know I am not the only one! lol Working nights is much harder on us than we realize, I think. I only do one over night right now and I love it. I love being home in my own bed, wearing real pajamas 6 nights a week!
    And yes, this world is a hard place to be ok in. I really believe that. Even when we don’t read or watch or look….the awful stuff is still really happening and it coats the world in darkness. How’s that for a cheer-up! LOL

  5. What I find the saddest is that Robin Williams, who was very depressed, ended his life. I would have much preferred that he shared about his feelings, but alas, this isn’t what happened. I don’t understand it. People have no problems with others talking about their physical health, but the minute we talk about mental health, many run for cover. Thank you for sharing your feelings, and I, took struggle with depression, and I have shared about it from time to time on my blog.

  6. I’m sick of hearing about the race crap. You can only play that poker hand so much before people get sick and tired of it and think you’re cheating.

  7. No. I’m not. I’m just sick of trying to be myself and failing dismally..probably because maybe i’m tying to be someone i’m not or maybe I STILL don’t know who I am. Anyway….feeling a bit pissy today and since Robin Williams, Gaza, Ferguson and so, so much more. All this is going on and I sit feeling sorry for myself when my life is pretty much ok. Anyway….after the first anyway, i was going to say “enough about me”…but continued with my moaning. I’m just glad you are still here posting and encouraging the rest of us.x

  8. I am not sick of hearing about it either. I am glad that you feel comfortable enough to vent to us, and we are here to cheer you on and support you along the way.

    PS: Usually I cannot get this comment thing to work but today I am using a new machine and going to hope, fingers crossed that it works.

  9. Okay, looks like that one went through. I am sorry you are going through this rough time but I am glad that you feel comfortable enough to share it with us. We are here to support you.

  10. I kinda work night shifts when I dj and it’s so hard on the body, and that’s just a couple of nights in a row, and with the lack of sleep too it leaves me feeling craby and down.

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